4 Steps to Raising Brave Kids

Earlier this week I hosted a LIVE on Instagram with my husband. I was so thrilled to have many of you join us as we answered questions about our move from Utah to Hawaii six months ago. It has been such an adventure and we've heard from so many of you that we aren't the only ones who have thought long and hard about making a move, particularly to the islands!

One of the biggest considerations we made when considering the big change was "How will the kids handle this?" We are a family of six and the decisions that Ryan and I make are important for all of us.

We've made a concerted effort from the time the kids were very young to help them learn courage and try new things.  I want to share with you a few ways we encourage bravery in our home:

SPEAK OF YOUR CHILD'S COURAGE LIKE IT'S ALREADY THERE

Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? When you believe something about yourself and it comes into existence! Helping our children believe that they can be courageous works wonders for their confidence and courage. This is especially true for my oldest daughter who can get anxious and worried. She needs a little more encouragement from her parents when doing something uncomfortable. Compliment your kids when they do something brave. I'll bet when you pay attention to this and start recognizing bravery in your home, you will find it daily. Lastly, be sure to speak to other adults and family members about the bravery you notice in your child. This will again reinforce their positive behavior.

GIVE YOUR CHILD PERMISSION TO BE SCARED OR NERVOUS

As adults we are imperfect and get scared. We put on our brave faces, sometimes out of sheer necessity, but we want to be a good example for our kids. When it comes to raising brave kids it's important to remember that it's okay for them to be scared and feel emotional. It's our opportunity as parents to recognize these teaching moments. Always validate what they're feeling. Let your kids talk about how they're feeling. This will help them sort through their emotions and it removes the potential for shame. A good question for your kids when you recognize their emotion is, "You seem really nervous about this. Tell me why you feel that way."

MODEL BRAVERY FOR YOUR CHILD

You've noticed by now that our children watch EVERYTHING we do and often attempt to mimic it. So, let them catch you doing something brave.  We recently went on a family hike in the Ko'Olau Mountains on Oahu. We discovered a beautiful waterfall and pool below. Some people were jumping off the rock to the water below. Despite my initial fear, I jumped from the rock and splashed into the water. My girls were watching every minute and I pointed out to them how nervous I was, but that I exercised some bravery to do something that scared me. It wasn't long after that they too were jumping from smaller rocks into the water. Let them see you do things outside of your comfort zone and talk about it with them.

BRAVERY IS A MUSCLE

I'm forever grateful to my father who taught me that bravery is a muscle. He always coached my sports teams as a child and he was, and still is, the epitome of bravery and courage.  My father showed me through his example and through coaching that as I did things that scared me, or intimidated me, I would get better at facing those challenges. I believe this principle has helped me as a nurse in the emergency room. Just as I had to put on a brave face for the ill or injured children entering our hospital doors.

I encourage you to look for examples of bravery within your home this holiday season. Encourage your children and celebrate their wins. Over time, I'm confident you will notice that bravery muscle is getting stronger. Your family will get better at facing fears and moving past them. Who knows, you might just decide to make that crazy move you've been thinking about...

Thank you so much for being here. It truly means the world to me!